A Note to the Reader:

Below you will find the signature piece of St. Louis open-mic poet, Sick Puppy. Written sometime during the year 1994, it has been performed at several open mic venues in the St. Louis area since then a multitude of times. The poet has attempted to retire the poem as well as his nickname repeatedly with little success. He is learning to cope. Other poems that carry the distinctive Sick Puppy touch may appear on this site in the future.

Yours Sickly,

Sick Puppy

Original 1994 version

I fantasize
About having sex
With Marilyn Monroe
Right now, right this minute
Marilyn Monroe, fresh from her grave.

I masturbate
While watching Rosanne
Wondering what she looks like
With her clothes off.

My dog has the shits
Throws up what he eats
But everyone knows
I'm the Sick Puppy.

I daydream about
The Queen Mother
Rose Kennedy
And myself in a menage-a-trois
Then Marilyn rises from her grave
With her hubbies Arthur Miller
And Joltin' Joe Dimaggio
And they make it a sextet.

Golda Meier
The Old Elvis
And little girls under the age of five
All drive
Me crazy with lust.

My dog has the shits
Throws up what he eats
But everyone knows
I'm the Sick Puppy.

If Venus stood in front of me
In all her glory
As she did with young Adonis
She wouldn't even get a rise
But Medusa,
Now there's a mythological creature
If I stared at her in all her glory
My organ would surely
Turn
To stone.

My dog has the shits
Throws up what he eats
But everyone knows
I'm the Sick Puppy

Yes, Everyone knows
I'm the sick puppy.

2004 edited version

I fantasize
About having sex
With Marilyn Monroe
Right now, right this minute
Marilyn Monroe, fresh from her grave.

I masturbate
While watching Rosanne
Wondering what she looks like
With her clothes off.

My dog has the shits
Throws up what he eats
But everyone knows
I'm the Sick Puppy.

I daydream about
The Queen Mother
Rose Kennedy
And myself in a menage-a-trois
Then Marilyn rises from her grave
With her hubbies Arthur Miller
And Joltin' Joe Dimaggio
And they make it a sextet.

Golda Meier
The Old Elvis
Mickey and Minnie, Donald and Daisy
All drive me crazy
With lust.

My dog has the shits
Throws up what he eats
But everyone knows
I'm the Sick Puppy.

If Venus stood in front of me
In all her glory
As she did with young Adonis
She wouldn't even get a rise
But Medusa,
Now there's a mythological creature
If I stared at her in all her gory
My organ would surely
Turn
To stone.

My dog has the shits
Throws up what he eats
But everyone knows
I'm the Sick Puppy

Yes, Everyone knows
I'm the sick puppy.

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